Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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