Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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