I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
