At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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