im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
