Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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