No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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