remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
