hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
