He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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