DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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