sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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