you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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