for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love having hate sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So vagazzling was a success
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize