So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
