halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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