The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
