i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
