RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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