remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
