so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
