So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
