A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
