I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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