sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
