she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
