He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
