There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
