yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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