so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize