ugly people sure do ruin things
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
