This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Randomize
