Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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