I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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