Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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