Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
