do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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