fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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