only you would photoshop your dick
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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