Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
