she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
