its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
