I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
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Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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