He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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