i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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