my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
