Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
