Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
