I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
