Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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