At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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