she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize