Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
