god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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