Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just forgot I was standing up.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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