Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
