There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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