I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Its about making memories worth repressing
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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