Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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