She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
