hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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