GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize