There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize