omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
