Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
