you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
