well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
